DIFFERING
OPINIONS AND VIEWS
Your perceptions and your perspectives are different from mine. We have different histories and different life stories. We come from different places where we grew up. A description of those who live somewhere different from where they originated, even by a few miles, “we come from away”, except those who stayed where they started. Some of us have lived longer than others with a cache of different experiences. We have different opinions on different topics. As former Senator Daniel Moynihan said, “You are entitled to your own opinions. You are not entitled to your own facts.”
Difference has different meanings in different contexts. In mathematics difference refers to the difference in quantity between two numbers. We learned that somewhere between the ages of 5 and 7 and have been using it ever since. There is a difference between quantity and quality.
There are differing opinions on the recent, so-called, presidential debate. One side wants Biden to drop out; the other side wants him to stay in, offer support. Each person can take a side, or not. However, neutrality, as the late Elie Wiesel said, helps the oppressor.
“We must take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. Sometimes we must interfere. When human lives are endangered, when human dignity is in jeopardy, national borders and sensitivities become irrelevant. Wherever men and women are persecuted because of their race, religion, or political views, that place must - at that moment - become the center of the universe.” (Nobel Peace Prize Speech, December 1986)
We identify ourselves differently, whether we use the 8 social identifiers of ability, age, ethnicity, gender, race, religion, sexual orientation and socioeconomic status or some other measure.
We have different preferences for food and drink, for work that is meaningful, for clothes, self-care and life styles. We have different body types and shapes. We live in different places in different kinds of housing in different climates and in different states and countries. We have different kinds of pets, or none at all. We say things like “different strokes for different folks” attempting to explain why we do the same thing differently. Cooking hard boiled eggs is an example. Some people start with eggs in cold water, bring it to a boil for 15 minutes, turn off the heat, cover the pot with a lid and let stand to cool. Others boil for less time and some use a cold water shock method at the end. Some prefer older eggs for easier peeling. Who knew?
The list of differences may be endless. Some are more heavily weighted than others, meaning serious and of greater consequence. Many are trivial and of little consequence.
When we look at our values and beliefs, and actions based on those characteristics, we see differences and similarities. What we agree on and share help to build communities of common concerns. It could be climate change, health care, the economy, or education and schools. When there are serious differences and a clash of values, beliefs and actions, there is a greater likelihood for disagreements resulting in polarized and divided communities. This does not mean everyone should agree. What it means is that we need to create time and a safe space for meaningful, constructive dialogue about our differences, along with our similarities and what we hold in common.
I wondered why this topic emerged in my consciousness this past week and I believe it’s this. I have spent a large portion of my life and several careers helping people to come together around common purpose, common goals. We did that in order to help strengthen organizations and communities to move closer to their goals . What I see now is the disintegration of unity and a further polarizing of differences. And yet, I have hope for a better outcome.
“In the final analysis, our most basic common link is that we all inhabit this small planet. We all breathe the same air. We all cherish our children's future. And we are all mortal.”
JFK Commencement address at American University, Washington, DC, 10 June 1963
Thanks Gary. I share your hope for a better outcome. I have come to the view that not only do we share the same planet, breath the same air, and long for a peaceful and love filled life for our children, but we share the same spiritual origin and nature. We are not and can never be separate from each other. That does not magically mean all is sweetness and light...far from it, we must stand up for our sameness by embracing our differences, talking about them and yes, standing up against those forces that seek to crush our essential connections. Laced in the fabric of our mortality is the thread of peace that is not broken by, nor destroyed by our mortality. We must, I think, seek to hold onto that thread and treasure it in every single human and community. Thanks for your words Gary.
We have lived through decades in which hopes were raised, then shattered, raised again and shattered again. We have survived until now. Some times are harder than others to remain hopeful. This is one of the most difficult times in my 81 years to keep hope alive and well. So far my history has left me marveling that we made it through it all, able to look back on it from a better place. We need a better place. I will keep hoping. I am also in awe of the miracle of our existence, given the powerful forces in the Universe (however one descries them) that have produced us all from exactly the same stuff. It is both humbling and thrilling. Celebrating our commonality also helps me keep things in perspective.