THE ANSWER WITHOUT REGARD FOR THE QUESTION

An ancient folk tale for my time, and yours:

High in the Himalayan mountains lived a wise old man.

A few young boys from the village decided to play a joke on the wise old man and discredit his special abilities.

The boys devised a plan.

They would catch a bird and ask the old man if the bird was dead or alive. If the wise man said the bird was alive, the boy would crush the bird in his hands, so that when he opened his hands the bird would be dead; if the wise man said the bird was dead, the boy would open his hands and let the bird fly free. So no matter what the old man said, the boys would prove the old man a fraud.

The boys walked up to the wise old man and asked, " Old man, old man, tell us, is the bird alive or is it dead?"

The wise old man looked at the boys and said, "The answer is in your hands, as you choose it to be.”

Whatever question you have about how you are living, what you might like to do next, who you would like to become in the next, best version of yourself, you hold the answer. “In your hands” is an interesting phrase.

Do you remember an old camp song, “He’s Got the Whole World in His Hands”? That is a traditional African-American spiritual, first published in 1927. It became an international pop hit in 1957–58 in a recording by English singer Laurie London, which is one of the best-selling gospel songs of all time. The song has also been recorded by many other singers and choirs, including Mahalia Jackson, Marian Anderson, Judy Garland and Nina Simone.

What has been tugging at me of late is living in a world of wonder and discovery that has been given to me. I can think of no other way to put it right now. That may evolve as I dig a little deeper into what I have discovered, uncovered and recovered in the past decade, between 75 and 85, and more recently, the past two years.

Fast forward to the past 6 months, some of which are detailed here in a few recent posts. This is not about getting older or wiser or better. It’s about living with meaning, purpose and direction, even in my current state of disability, weakness, compromised breathing and a generally slowing down of vital, functioning systems - most of them in fact. It sounds a bit dismissive for me to say “It is what it is” and yet it fits. I am what I am and I am no longer what I was by anyone’s reckoning. As I see the end of this wonderful life, it seems to be moving slowly but surely toward the final surrender and peace. I suppose that’s why we say, “Rest in Peace.”

I learned early on the values and virtues of humility, grace and gratitude. I was given much and learned how to receive, appreciate and give back. I am still doing that, differently from earlier days although the practice is the same. I was afforded numerous opportunities for learning and growing and created more by being willing to take risks and make changes. Some of my conversations now include what dying and death mean with this new perspective, one I did not imagine often although there were times for those topics when considering how one wishes to check out in the end.

Some dreams lately are so vivid that I wake up shocked that what I dreamed was not real. Appetite for food is still good but modest and since I am not burning many calories, the intake is more limited. Exercise is minimal as it makes breathing, which is already compromised, even more challenging. Muscle tone and body mass have diminished to a point where this bony-assed boy finds it paiful to sit on a hard surface without a pillow; so we adjust what we can when we can with what we have where we are. Why does that sound familiar? I lost 25 lbs. from 175 down to 150 over a period of 2 months. At 6’2” have never been on the heavy side, and now clothes all too big hanging on this frame of a body once vibrant with many enjoyable physical activities that included sailing, fishing, hiking, travel, building, gardening, softball and early on competitive sports of football, basketball and track and field. Some great memories from those years.

We take each day as it comes, and goes, do what we can, while we can, where we are wity what we have. Gratitude for all and to all who are staying connected. I had several calls from dear friends and we talked openly about this stage of our lives and what it means for the internal life of the Spirit. One friend suggested boldly to me, “yo have touched the divine,” to which I said, “No, the divine has touched me and I AM led by the Spirit on this continuing journey.” In some ways this is a playful time if you enjoy playing and sharing experiences and ideas. Anyone who knows me well knows I appreciate these conversations, appreciate each of you for responding to them and thus I am sending you good wishes for a happy Summertime. It’s in our hands now.