I am sure this notion originated somewhere in my childhood and took up residence in my mind. It has remained a welcome tenant, most of the time. I hear the words from my parents and teachers early on, “You know better.” And “You can do better.”
I appreciate this contemplation on "better." I'm always curious about the etymology of words, I look forward to doing a bit of research on this one.
Also your meanderings through "better" got me thinking how important context is. So much of our culture and society is rooted in competitive and hierarchal thinking, so "better" often is meant as "better than..." someone or something else. It's set up in comparison. But I like the way that so much of what you are pondering is set in the context of bettering oneself or a system or organization, not as a way of getting 'over' something or someone else, but for its own sake. Nicely done!
Thanks, Maia. When I was in the work a day world, I valued collaboration more than competition with the belief that working together we got more done than by competing to see who or what is better. It’s why I was not a fan of grades or scores. It’s also why I believe the GHI is a better measure than the GDP to assess success.
Right! We lived a mile south of Abiquiu, at the bottom of Road 1622, past the Lavender Farm, all the way to the end and then down a driveway to the right to # 44. We remodeled a house there and named it The River House because it was on the Chama River, with a great view across the river. We had about a hundred cottonwood trees on 6 acres, then acquired another 6 adjacent acres which we eventually sold to some friends.
A very thoughtful post, which I enjoyed reading very much. I like the stories of your immigrant employees. "More better!" makes me smile. That was the phrase that my Thai massage doctor always said when asking if I felt better since the last treatment!
I particularly like how you answer people's question, "How are you doing?" with "better." I'm curious what kind of responses you got. Did they inquire "better than what?" I remember using that phrase before, and it drew a question mark on the asker's face. I think I'm going to use it more often from now on, and see what happens.
When is good enough good enough? This is such an important question for someone who grew up under the pressure to always strive for the best.
Yes, the responses to the question, "How are you? with the word "Better" received some interesting and amusing remarks. Here are a few. "Oh, have you been sick?" and "Whaddya mean, better?" and "Glad to hear that!" and "What did you say?" Then sometimes a conversation about why "better" and whether or not it was a joke or a test.
Thanks, Don. It's easier to be inspired than to be inspiring. Words have special meaning as you know well. I aspire to inspire before I expire. All about breathing in and breathing out. May have to write about that later, not longevity or a full life, both of which I celebrate, but more about what we can do to insure quality of living, not quantity. What kind, not how much.
I know exactly what I am going to answer when I get asked, “How are you doing?” 😀. I am going to say, “Better!” I am going to try and make it a habit. I can’t wait for the looks!!! 🤣 Hoping for a conversation too.
Thanks, once again, for this thought-provoking, inspiring post, Gary!
Thank you, Ron. Glad you enjoyed the post and have fun with the "better" response. It's so much better than the automatic "fine" or "good" and can result in some interesting conversations.
Hi Gary - as a recovering (hopefully) perfectionist, I try to hold onto the idea that my best is good enough - that there comes a point where my striving to be better needs to plateau and be enough. I also regularly remind myself that I'm not in competition with anyone else and I can cheer them on without feeling like I have to do better myself. It's a very interesting concept and I think "better", "best", and "good enough" mean different things to different personality types.
Your best is more than good enough and as I think I said, best can be the enemy of better in the same way that perfect is the enemy of good. You're right in that different personalities regard those terms differently, probably because of earlier experiences and gathering what they mean along the way of working, being and doing. Every time I decide to push the publish button I say to myself, "ok, good enough, at least for now." That's one example that comes to mind at the moment.
I appreciate this contemplation on "better." I'm always curious about the etymology of words, I look forward to doing a bit of research on this one.
Also your meanderings through "better" got me thinking how important context is. So much of our culture and society is rooted in competitive and hierarchal thinking, so "better" often is meant as "better than..." someone or something else. It's set up in comparison. But I like the way that so much of what you are pondering is set in the context of bettering oneself or a system or organization, not as a way of getting 'over' something or someone else, but for its own sake. Nicely done!
Thanks, Maia. When I was in the work a day world, I valued collaboration more than competition with the belief that working together we got more done than by competing to see who or what is better. It’s why I was not a fan of grades or scores. It’s also why I believe the GHI is a better measure than the GDP to assess success.
GHI is a wonderful model!
Also by the way — I live just about 20 miles from Abiquiu : )
Right! We lived a mile south of Abiquiu, at the bottom of Road 1622, past the Lavender Farm, all the way to the end and then down a driveway to the right to # 44. We remodeled a house there and named it The River House because it was on the Chama River, with a great view across the river. We had about a hundred cottonwood trees on 6 acres, then acquired another 6 adjacent acres which we eventually sold to some friends.
Oh yes, that’s a beautiful area. The lavender farm is still going strong! Come back and visit sometime!
A very thoughtful post, which I enjoyed reading very much. I like the stories of your immigrant employees. "More better!" makes me smile. That was the phrase that my Thai massage doctor always said when asking if I felt better since the last treatment!
I particularly like how you answer people's question, "How are you doing?" with "better." I'm curious what kind of responses you got. Did they inquire "better than what?" I remember using that phrase before, and it drew a question mark on the asker's face. I think I'm going to use it more often from now on, and see what happens.
When is good enough good enough? This is such an important question for someone who grew up under the pressure to always strive for the best.
Yes, the responses to the question, "How are you? with the word "Better" received some interesting and amusing remarks. Here are a few. "Oh, have you been sick?" and "Whaddya mean, better?" and "Glad to hear that!" and "What did you say?" Then sometimes a conversation about why "better" and whether or not it was a joke or a test.
Super interesting! Thanks for sharing!
I loved this, Gary! Really good writing and synthesizing of the wisdom of some wonderful thinkers like Maya Angelou and Emerson. Nice!
Thanks, Don. It's easier to be inspired than to be inspiring. Words have special meaning as you know well. I aspire to inspire before I expire. All about breathing in and breathing out. May have to write about that later, not longevity or a full life, both of which I celebrate, but more about what we can do to insure quality of living, not quantity. What kind, not how much.
Have a thankful Thursday!
Wow, just wow!
I absolutely love this.
I know exactly what I am going to answer when I get asked, “How are you doing?” 😀. I am going to say, “Better!” I am going to try and make it a habit. I can’t wait for the looks!!! 🤣 Hoping for a conversation too.
Thanks, once again, for this thought-provoking, inspiring post, Gary!
Thank you, Ron. Glad you enjoyed the post and have fun with the "better" response. It's so much better than the automatic "fine" or "good" and can result in some interesting conversations.
Hi Gary - as a recovering (hopefully) perfectionist, I try to hold onto the idea that my best is good enough - that there comes a point where my striving to be better needs to plateau and be enough. I also regularly remind myself that I'm not in competition with anyone else and I can cheer them on without feeling like I have to do better myself. It's a very interesting concept and I think "better", "best", and "good enough" mean different things to different personality types.
Your best is more than good enough and as I think I said, best can be the enemy of better in the same way that perfect is the enemy of good. You're right in that different personalities regard those terms differently, probably because of earlier experiences and gathering what they mean along the way of working, being and doing. Every time I decide to push the publish button I say to myself, "ok, good enough, at least for now." That's one example that comes to mind at the moment.
Inspiring Gary. Mas mejor is a phrase I can work with and become better.
Thanks, Diana. We need more of better in many places and the more people who are working with that, the better we all are for the collective effort