I just found your writing after we both commented on another stack. I agree with your sentiment on how to go out gracefully, and also with your hope that we can respectfully disagree at times. The anger, vitriol, and desire for retribution being spouted in the public square is very troubling. I hope you will use your considerable platform to help us steer into calmer waters (particularly with so many potential voters in your extended family!).
Thanks, Katherine. I don't know about steering others although I confess to that being my life's work for over 60 years, with some modicum of success and numerous failures. Nor do I think I have a considerable platform. That said,I am glad to add my two bits to the conversations that I believe are vitally important for our troubled times when so many seem anxious about the future. All the best to you and for you.
Thank you, Gary. At 78 I’m taking life one day at a time with the help of the twelve steps and the belief that a higher power will sort things out. One of the most important lessons has been to promptly admit when I am wrong (extremely difficult for a know-it-all). Humility and kindness trump anger and retribution.
Meanwhile I am hoping that those of us with memories of WWII and its after effects will sound the warning against an authoritarian dictator.
I'm looking at finishing up year 87 in June, no guarantees so I remember WW II and all that came with it. Yes to one day at a time, filled up, brimming over with possibilities. I'm still learning and believe God needs our help to sort things out, a kind of partnership with the higher power ultimately in charge and will have the last word. The wanna be authoritarian leader in waiting here will hopefully be prosecuted to the full extent of the law and no longer escape being accountable for bad and illegal behaviors. As my mentor and hero, MLK, Jr. said, "The arc of the moral universe is long but it bends toward justice."
And now you have me in tears, because I’m reading the book about the assassination of Medgar Evers with incredible details by author Joy-Ann Reid. So glad Myrlie kept on fighting and is still with us. And thankful I have fight left in me and a wonderful man in my life who keeps me young.
I wasn’t quite sure of your political leanings but it seems we share the same heroes. Last thoughts, did you see the story of the 100 year old man and 96 year old woman who will get married in France when they return for the 80 anniversary of D-Day? Make love not war was the headline. Each had been widowed and their families brought them together. So 87 is a spring chicken!
Thanks! For you, and anyone else who might be interested in a quick and easy read that touches on much of this in some detail, from my perspective, check out "Seven Decades: A Learning Memoir" for $5 on Amazon Kindle, $10 for paperback.
Thank you, Gary! In my career also, I had the privilege of being present with people in the throes of loss, listening to their pain, in solidarity with them, having experienced loss and accompanied a number to the end of their journey. I asked my 75 year old mother once (for a class) how she felt about death. She had lost her first two children, the first at nine days and the second at the age of five years on Christmas Eve. She answered that it is just part of life. She had no anger or resentment in her voice. She found much joy in life and never ceased learning and discovering all life has to offer until only the last days before her death at 97. Death is what fills life with value and meaning. I am not cavalier about the pain that comes with loss having lost my wife of 45 years, but it does not steal the joy from life, but compounds it.
Thank you for this excellent post, Gary. It is so important that people can talk about these matters, and this is very well thought out and helpful! During the first years of the Covid pandemic, I had panic attacks worrying about my parents passing away. I went to a counselor and the most helpful thing she ever said to me was something along the lines of as hard as it would be to have your parents pass away, it would be worse for them to outlive me and have to deal with me passing away. Right to your point about the natural order of things. That has been an extreme comfort to me and I'm thankful to have you bring it up.
Thanks, Cherie. As I suggested in the post, "Statistics mean little to a family who suffers through the death of a loved one." What gives people comfort walking through "the valley of the shadow of death" is who is walking with you. It's all about love and holding people close and a hug when needed.
I just found your writing after we both commented on another stack. I agree with your sentiment on how to go out gracefully, and also with your hope that we can respectfully disagree at times. The anger, vitriol, and desire for retribution being spouted in the public square is very troubling. I hope you will use your considerable platform to help us steer into calmer waters (particularly with so many potential voters in your extended family!).
Thanks, Katherine. I don't know about steering others although I confess to that being my life's work for over 60 years, with some modicum of success and numerous failures. Nor do I think I have a considerable platform. That said,I am glad to add my two bits to the conversations that I believe are vitally important for our troubled times when so many seem anxious about the future. All the best to you and for you.
Thank you, Gary. At 78 I’m taking life one day at a time with the help of the twelve steps and the belief that a higher power will sort things out. One of the most important lessons has been to promptly admit when I am wrong (extremely difficult for a know-it-all). Humility and kindness trump anger and retribution.
Meanwhile I am hoping that those of us with memories of WWII and its after effects will sound the warning against an authoritarian dictator.
I'm looking at finishing up year 87 in June, no guarantees so I remember WW II and all that came with it. Yes to one day at a time, filled up, brimming over with possibilities. I'm still learning and believe God needs our help to sort things out, a kind of partnership with the higher power ultimately in charge and will have the last word. The wanna be authoritarian leader in waiting here will hopefully be prosecuted to the full extent of the law and no longer escape being accountable for bad and illegal behaviors. As my mentor and hero, MLK, Jr. said, "The arc of the moral universe is long but it bends toward justice."
And now you have me in tears, because I’m reading the book about the assassination of Medgar Evers with incredible details by author Joy-Ann Reid. So glad Myrlie kept on fighting and is still with us. And thankful I have fight left in me and a wonderful man in my life who keeps me young.
I wasn’t quite sure of your political leanings but it seems we share the same heroes. Last thoughts, did you see the story of the 100 year old man and 96 year old woman who will get married in France when they return for the 80 anniversary of D-Day? Make love not war was the headline. Each had been widowed and their families brought them together. So 87 is a spring chicken!
Thanks! For you, and anyone else who might be interested in a quick and easy read that touches on much of this in some detail, from my perspective, check out "Seven Decades: A Learning Memoir" for $5 on Amazon Kindle, $10 for paperback.
Thank you, Gary! In my career also, I had the privilege of being present with people in the throes of loss, listening to their pain, in solidarity with them, having experienced loss and accompanied a number to the end of their journey. I asked my 75 year old mother once (for a class) how she felt about death. She had lost her first two children, the first at nine days and the second at the age of five years on Christmas Eve. She answered that it is just part of life. She had no anger or resentment in her voice. She found much joy in life and never ceased learning and discovering all life has to offer until only the last days before her death at 97. Death is what fills life with value and meaning. I am not cavalier about the pain that comes with loss having lost my wife of 45 years, but it does not steal the joy from life, but compounds it.
Thank you for this excellent post, Gary. It is so important that people can talk about these matters, and this is very well thought out and helpful! During the first years of the Covid pandemic, I had panic attacks worrying about my parents passing away. I went to a counselor and the most helpful thing she ever said to me was something along the lines of as hard as it would be to have your parents pass away, it would be worse for them to outlive me and have to deal with me passing away. Right to your point about the natural order of things. That has been an extreme comfort to me and I'm thankful to have you bring it up.
Thanks, Cherie. As I suggested in the post, "Statistics mean little to a family who suffers through the death of a loved one." What gives people comfort walking through "the valley of the shadow of death" is who is walking with you. It's all about love and holding people close and a hug when needed.